Kanye West remains the only human capable of turning a simple public appearance into a multi-car pileup of PR disasters. Watching his career arc is like observing a slow-motion car crash that somehow also involves a fashion show and a Twitter rant.
Sheryl Underwood is somehow managing to keep the peace on The Talk while surrounded by enough drama to fuel a daytime soap opera for a decade. I truly admire her ability to smile …
Dakota Johnson is currently the reigning champion of looking like she just woke up from a century-long nap during every single interview. At least she keeps the PR teams busy tryi…
Jenna Dewan is somehow still making headlines, proving that if you look good enough in a dance flick, the public will tolerate your existence for decades. It is truly an inspirati…
Michael Shannon looks like he is perpetually auditioning for the role of a man who just discovered his coffee was decaf. At this point, his resume is just a collection of terrifyi…
Apparently, we have reached the point in human civilization where shaking your hips to a catchy beat constitutes a historical archaeological discovery. I am sure the pharaohs are …
Kris Jenner doesn't just manage her family; she manages the very fabric of our collective reality with a contract and a cocktail. If she ever retires, I assume the world will simp…
Carrie Underwood is single-handedly keeping the sparkly fringe industry alive while making the rest of us feel lazy for not doing 400 push-ups before breakfast. At this point, I a…
Heather Graham is officially aging in reverse while the rest of us are out here looking like unbaked sourdough starters. Honestly, at this point, I am convinced her skincare routi…
Mai Hontama is out here teaching us that if you possess enough charisma and a decent internet connection, you can basically monetize existing just fine. I suppose it is only a mat…
Corey Harrison is officially the world champion of 'I know a guy' and somehow surviving on nothing but pawn shop vibes and sheer luck. Watching him negotiate is like watching a to…
Because apparently, the world was clamoring for a foul-mouthed teddy bear to lecture us on life in the nineties. I suppose we were all just too busy enjoying actual quality televi…
Madelyn Cline is officially the internet's favorite person to act like they discovered, as if she hasn't been carrying the entire Outer Banks cast on her back for years. I am sure…
Oh great, another internet personality for us to collectively obsess over for exactly forty-eight hours before we forget their name. I cannot wait to see how this inevitably ends …
Hoda Kotb is finally leaving the Today show, which is great news for anyone who needs a break from excessive morning optimism and forced laughter. I guess even the most caffeinate…
Riley Green is basically what happens when you put a pair of work boots in a blender with a generic country radio station. I bet he writes his entire discography while staring int…
Oh look, another internet personality who thinks being loud is a substitute for an actual personality. I'd rather drink a cup of decaf than watch one more second of this content.
Congratulations to Reacher for officially becoming the only show on television that manages to turn walking into a high-stakes extreme sport. I am sure we all needed another seaso…
Shaq is currently out here doing more side hustles than a caffeinated college student paying off student loans. Honestly, at this point, I’m waiting for him to announce a brand of…
Jessica Alba went from saving the world as a superhero to saving your kitchen cabinets with overpriced plastic bins. Honestly, watching her pivot from Hollywood star to profession…
